(Originally from Uncyclopedia Article may be editted)
Also called La la Land, Lalaland is a beautiful place located on top of pink fluffy clouds. It is where insane people live in peace and harmony. It is abundant with unicorns, rainbows, llamas, and pink fluffy clouds. Therefore, if you are not, in fact, mentally incoherent, please stay away, for you will go insane after staying in Lalaland for about 2.34535 seconds.
Lalaland is equipped with many special services, such as mandatory padded walls for all buildings. Just because it is for crazy people, it does not mean that it lack for facilities. There is a Royal Academy Of Lalaland for all children who had gone sadly insane before the age of 18. It provides a thorough education, such as the How To Ride A Llama course. Math is strictly banned, and anyone found in possession of a math textbook is banished to an ordinary lunatic asylum on Earth.
- Lalaland is a land of many geographical landscapes. There are majestic steep rocky lands where Windsoar Castle is situated, deep forests where the unicorns roam, and very nice flatlands ideal for urban and commercial centers. It is surrounded by the Arsenic Sea (yes, this is all on top of clouds). The Arsenic Sea is home of pirates, under the command of Captain Jacques Bailey.
- The government of Lalaland is an absolute monarchy system. The Queen of Lalaland is Her Majesty, Queen Linda Regina the First. She rules with a benevolent fist. There was a brief unrest in Lalaland, when the people, tired of the "no guns or sharp things" rule, revolted and banished her to a remote country on Earth called Canada. Instead, the President Goerg W. Bosh took her place. Bosh established a relationship with the United States of America, where the US imports weapons and violent video games. However, the lunatics of Lalaland got so carried away with their newfound killing powers that Bosh begged Her Majesty to come back and rule once more. It is the result of this that all contact with the United States of America is strictly forbidden.
Update: Now that the US has had a change of government, and President. Brak Bamao is at the helm, relationships with the country has been re-established.
- Lalaland is a beautiful place. Tourism is widely encouraged, however if you do plan to visit, please prepare to live there for the rest of your life, on the account of aforementioned 2.34535 second rule.
Here are just some places of interest:
- Forest of Pink Unicorns
- Mall of Endless Shopping Insanity(very popular)
- Rainbow Bridge
- Windsoar Castle, the Royal Residence of the Queen
- Llama riding range
- The Llama Song
- The Llama
- The Cheese
National Systems of Measure
- Although the American's system of inches and feet makes no logical sense and is therefore ideal for the insanity of Lalaland, Queen Linda will have nothing to do with the US after the Uprising. Therefore Lalaland uses the more sane Metric System. Ditto with the Celsius measure for temperature.
- The only newspaper in Lalaland is Aleatoire. It was established in Our Lord's Year 1991. It provides an accurate account of all exciting events in Lalaland, for example the Wonderfully Awesome Fun Fair That You Won't Want To Miss, held yesterday. Aleatoire has only ever had one editor, the ereswhile estimable Sir Wolfgang Sheepalot.
Important Personages In Lalaland History
- Sir Wolfgang Sheepalot
- Sir Wolfgang Sheepalot was born Bob Smith, in a small village of China. Because of his decidedly non-chinese name, he was ridiculed by his fellow playmates. This eventually drove him insane at the age of 14. He immigrated to Lalaland, and graduated top of his class in the Royal Academy. After many contributions to the country, including the invention of the croissant, he was knighted by the Queen. Bob Smith was not the most impressive name to tack a "sir" onto, therefore the Queen graciously granted him the much longer, and somewhat oxymoronic, name of Wolfgang Sheepalot.
- Evil Lord Thingymajig (and co.) Evil Lord Thingymajig has been voted the Sexiest Man In Lalaland by Aleatoire newspaper
- Evil Lord Thingymajig (ELT for short) is the reigning Villian in Lalaland. His favorite animal is the bunny, and his favorite foods are thornberry tea and crumpets. His ambition is to take over the world so taxes can be lowered.He has a long and complicated history with the Prince (who is not the son of Queen Linda, rather the Prince of a random imaginary country). Basically, they were arch-enemies, then ELT had the brilliant idea of turning the Temptress of Goodwill evil by the use of the Evil Transformer Machine, and then using the now evil Temptress to well, tempt, the Prince into the Dark Side. Long story short, the Prince and his wife, the Temptress of Evil, are now best friends with the evil lord, and they visit each other for tea on a regular basis.
- Ai Gonno Fwends
- Ai was a longtime writer for Aleatoire. She had penned many excellent articles such as "How Cheese Became Random". Unfortunately, she never had any friends. She lived in a garbage can in a seedy district of Lalaland named Dumpville. Tragically, she had just upgraded to a cardboard box when she died of Powerade overdose. She died almost with friends. Her almost-friend, Mr. Dogott, had being planning to get to know her better and perhaps even marry her before her untimely death. "Then she could have became Mrs. Ai Dogott-Fwends," a random person remarked.
- Captain Jacques Robin Bailey
- The Pirate Lord of the Arsenic Sea, also the king-consort of Queen Linda. It was said that Captain Jack Sparrow, personal friend of both, attended the wedding. The Weapons Ban has been partially lifted in the Arsenic Sea, to allow for swords and pistols. All other weapons are still banned.
- Lenora the Llama
- Lenora has won the Oscar for "Best Animal Actress" for four years in a row. Her blockbuster movie "Llamas In Lalaland",in which she starred as Maria, the llama looking for love, won the "Most Random Picture" award. Her favorite designer is Llouis Vuitton.
- Lenora is also connected to the infamous Uprising against the Queen. She starred in the violence film, "Killing Is Good," and smuggled weapons into Lalaland under the pretext of "film props." As a result, Lenora is now permanently banished to Easter Island, and all copies of "Killing Is Good" are destroyed.
- Sarah the Unicorn
- Sarah is a renowned athlete. She has competed in the Lalalympics, winning in total 324 gold metals. No silver or bronze for this unicorn! Her best field (haha field) is soccer. She is also particularly skilled in the Jousting Tournaments held annually by the Queen.